How am I?

People often ask me how my job is. Truth be told, it goes up and down. Up With People is an emotional roller coaster to begin with, having the natural ups and downs of life magnified by being on the road away from any constants except for the 100 people you see all day 6 days a week. There are moments that are frustrating and disappointing, moments when you're so tired you can barely function or too busy to even eat. Then there are the moments that make it all worth it. There are families who touch your heart, who will never forget you and who have kids who ask where you are for months following your departure. There are places you visit that are breathtakingly beautiful and experiences you wouldn't be able to have in another context. There are little things that show up along the road to remind you why you're here.

Then there are the people. When asked if I'm homesick, the answer is always "no." That's not due to a lack of love for home, but due to the fact that the only times I've ever really been homesick are when I'm not happy where I am. I've always been confident in the relationship I have with my family. I don't need to see them or hear from them every day to know that they love me. I know that though they miss seeing me from time to time, they just want me to be happy. The people I'm surrounded by are all united by a common vision - to make the world a better place. Idealistic? Perhaps, but I'd rather live by my ideals than give up on the world we live in. We all know that it only takes one person to make a difference in another's life, and we sing it all the time, "One to one we change the world."

I've noticed that we always talk about changing others' lives, and the thing we don't often realize is how our own life changes in the process. So many of the students talk about how they don't feel like they're impacting others' lives, and then I see how theirs has been impacted. They don't see how helping a child with cancer to smile is making a difference, and then I see the look on their face and realize that they just want to be able to do more than that. They feel helpless sometimes. In the end, if the only thing that changes is ourselves then I think we've succeeded. The thing is, though, that I know how much of an impact we've made already.

Have I changed? Yes. I look at my life now and know there are things that are a part of me forever. After this experience, I won't be able to do "nothing" with my life. All those free days I used to have I realize were wasted opportunities. Opportunities to volunteer. Opportunities to explore the place I live. Opportunities to explore new places. Opportunities to bond with other people. These are all things I value but never realized all the opportunities I had. My days now are filled. From early morning to late evening I'm constantly active, sometimes at so frantic a pace I feel my body won't keep up. I won't keep the pace up forever, but I'll always have the knowledge that I can. There are so many hours in a day.

One thing that living on the road gives you is the knowledge of who takes the time to connect with you and who you take the time to connect with. Living in a place you have many acquaintances who you see a lot. Going away helps you to see those that really care for you and who think about you from time to time. It's also an opportunity for me to see who I miss and think about and to let them know.

What is it that I do? I am currently coordinating logistics for a 6-month international tour of 107 young adults from 21 countries, while doing community service, performing in a show, and living in host families in a different city each week.

So you ask once again, "How is my job?" It's crazy and fun and stressful and delightful and enlightening and strengthening and educational and exhausting and unique and important and hard and surprising and magical. That's how it is, and it's the perfect place for me to be at this point in my life.

~Molly